.

5 Days

5 Cities

4 Hotels

6 Orphanages,

1 Baby home,

1 Public School

1 Widows Home

45hrs on a bus

703miles

739 pairs of shoes

As I put socks on children's feet marred with mud the Lord spoke words to me. He told me I was once dirty. He told me I once was naked with nothing. As I hugged orphans and widows, as I embraced these children He told me I was once an orphan just like them. I saw the hopeless situations of teenage girls pregnant in orphanages from rape, prostitution, incest, and abuse. I saw the brokenness of the world we live in and it was hard to see. It was so much easier to be in a clean church with a clean gospel or to send money to these places and sing songs about wanting God to change the world. BUT it's very difficult to stay comfortable if I want to also be a "living sacrifice" and live worship.
In Guatemala I didn't like feeling helpless. I didn't like the fact that I couldn't speak to the children and tell them Jesus wants them when no one else does. I didn't like feeling that I had nothing to offer them and no way to really help them. It was Tuesday and we had driven 6 hours to (Shayla?) to our 2 orphanages. The day before was a very busy day starting at 6am and here we go again. I spent the day spinning a bunch of children around on the playground and being a human jungle gym. That evening I started feeling real sick. As we got to our hotel I was soon to bed shivering with fever and nausea. It proved a long night of "being sick". That morning another drive 5 hour drive through unpaved mountain roads! I felt horrible-some say I was the color of the paper these words are on. I had to have the driver pull over a couple times so I could open the door and throw up. I was at my weakest point drugged on Dramamine and hugging my backpack in the backseat of a little toyota pickup. We arrived in Antigua to an orphanage called Man-Chen- 140 girls. What-Girls? The day before was all boys. I can do boys but girls? Not only can I not speak their language, I can't relate, and I on top of that I felt sooooo sick. We walked through a huge iron gate crowned with barbed wire. I could see right away that many of the girls were special needs. They were all different ages and many of the older girls either had children or were pregnant! I was very surprised by the sights I saw. We sang with them a few songs in very broken Spanish-"Si Senor" (Yes Lord- Darrell Evans) one of the only songs I knew in Spanish. I started to feel better as the day progressed. We were suppose to start putting shoes on their feet when we got there, but we had to wait 2 hrs for the shoes to be arranged. I had 40 Guatemalan girls gazing right at me and the other three in my group. We sang and I taught them some hand motions that they liked. After playing some games we didn't know what to do. I had a translator stand up with me and I shared my testimony. It was hard to look into their eyes, glazed over from abuse and trauma. I couldn't think of what to say. How could I explain to them that God wants them? They wouldn't believe me. Every eye was on me as I told them how God found me even when I ran from Him. I told them I hated God after He took my father from me, but he pursued me and wanted me- He wanted to be my Father. God never leaves me. As I spoke about the love of God there was POWER. In my weakest point, it was awesome to boast of God and KNOW His Spirit was speaking life and love and power into these girls. It had absolutely nothing to do with me. I have always wondered how to experience the true POWER of God- the power I read about so many times in Acts and it was clear. I can't have it until I need it. Not until I am ready to move out of my comfortable places and lay all my self confidence at the feet of God. God didn't need me to be strong and healthy. He didn't need me to speak Spanish. He has no obstacles to His own movement. He has never asked anything of me except willingness. Am I willing to go and be? Am I willing to do what He says? I can't imagine what Moses felt like when God told him that He would use him to lead a whole nation to freedom. But Lord I can't speak well! We all have good excuses and bad faith. But for my joy and God's glory if I could really live what I sing. "Si Senor" It's hard to say yes. It really is! But oh how it's worth it!
By the way.... here's alittle "tell me who" in Spanish. The orphans liked it too!